WARNING:Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense ahead

 This page is originally from Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense and is licensed under GFDL. Archives Special collections If you wish to put in new Wikipedia Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense, you may do so at 67 Deletion Summer of Love. But PLEASE cite your sources!

The title of this page is a reference to warning signs.

This page is full. If you wish to add a new Bad Joke or Other Deleted Nonsense, feel free to do so at our newest page, 67 Deletion Summer of Love.

Admin: namespace (from the Wikipedia:Village Pump)

I think we've seen way too few conspiracy theories about admins as of late. Therefore I propose an Admin: namespace where certified admins can talk amongst themselves. Regular users would not be able to access these pages. In other words, the reports of the cabal's death have been greatly exaggerated. The first task can be to discuss how to enforce stricter editorial controls. That is not a discussion that any old editor needs to take an interest in, and is better served by a decree. Thoughts? — David Remahl 22:55, 7 August 2005 (UTC)

Probably needs a password. And I think the various discussion headings should be visible to all, but not the discussions themselves. Joyous (talk) 23:01, August 7, 2005 (UTC)
There Is No Admin: Namespace.... :) Functc ) 23:05, 7 August 2005 (UTC)

This actually already exists, we just don't tell anyone about it. The discussion is ongoing at Admin:Empty Paking Lot Late at Night, which is the Cabal version of the Village Pump. But then, that link is red to ordinary editors :)--Pharos 23:13, 7 August 2005 (UTC)

Oi, I thought I was in the cabal! [[wp:smoddy]] 23:16, 7 August 2005 (UTC)
I think we should have a Beautiful: namespace where only the handsome wikipedians can read and edit, to bridge issues with the bulk of ugly wikipedians.
I don't understand what the admins can say to each other that others shouldn't listen to. Are you sure you're not really wanting a separate forum for developers/stewards? Admins are just old wikipedians, I don't see any differences (apart from the functional ones) between them and other wikipedians. — Sverdrup 23:17, 7 August 2005 (UTC)
You seem to imply that adminship is not a big deal! ;-). — David Remahl 23:28, 7 August 2005 (UTC)
Well, it kind of isn't. It's just some extra technical abilities, with no extra clout in disputes or the like. ~~ N (t/c) 23:46, 7 August 2005 (UTC)
Somewhere along the line, the satire got lost :-P. I'm sorry. — David Remahl 23:48, 7 August 2005 (UTC)
There already is a Beautiful: namespace. It is hidden from most editors out of fear they would be blinded by our combined beauty. — Knowledge Seeker 02:57, August 8, 2005 (UTC)

"Contributions" by 12.169.174.243

From Captain

Captain Dildo his name was Saiolor we know all about Always sailing he is Always in and out.

From Penguin

Penguins are going to take over the world. That's all you need to know

From God

Oh god, where did my fucking dignity go?

From Template:Mario series (Is this intended as a bad joke or not?)

'I think thoes are real games

BS stands for Bandai Satellaview, an early "pay-per-play" experiment in downloadable content for the SNES. BS Zelda is a bit more well known than these two but they are in fact real.

Eugenics

68.237.38.154 replaced the whole page with :

Eugenics is the study of Eugene.

From Talk:Yum! Brands

One combo location

In Sterling, VA, there is a KFC/Taco Bell combination restaurant. An EMPLOYEES ONLY door in the restaurant has a numeric lock. I have seen an employee going in there before, and I happened to see the passcode. Typing in 1 - 2 - 5 will unlock the door. Just a bit of random information I wanted to share with you...

Step by step instructions for opening the door mentioned above

1. Press 1
2. Press 2
3. Press 5
4. Pull down on the handle.
5. With the handle down, push the door open. It takes a hard push.

From Bero

Raphus berobero is an approximately 175cm tall flightless bird native to the marshlands of western Brisbane, Australia. It survives by forraging on nuts and cones. They are different to any other bird in that they reproduce anally.

It is agreed upon by the Australasian Ornithological Society that the Bero bird is a nuclear free, fun loving party animal with a penchant for pornography. Bero birds are reportedly used by the Russian customs agency as the front line tool against midget smugling.

It is not recommended that you stare at a Bero bird for too long as you may spontaneously combust.

From MySpace

MySpace.com (or MySpace) is the ultimate game of testing your ego. It becomes a competition of seeing who has the most friends, so you add everyone you've made eye contact with in the past 6 years, constantly posting bulletins telling people to comment on your NEW PICZ PLZ or die. Also a way for every garage band ever to make a Myspace Music profile without even have talent and/or experience as other bands have. Also a new place for every hot girl in the world to prove how slutty they are by making a Myspace and putting pictures of themselve's where they only have 1/5 of their clothes on with the quote under it "I used photoshop to cover my boobs, So What." Absolutely pointless "networking tool" that high school students overuse in an attempt to gain and then flaunt popularity. A potentially useful dating/networking tool for adults gone awry because it became a contest to see who could get the most "friends" added... (and by friends I mean other insecure teenagers adding you back in order to increase THEIR OWN friends count). An addiction where you must sign on every .3232134 seconds to see if anyone posted a comment, sent you a message, or put up a bulletin (to tell them to check out their new "hawt sexy pics!" a horrible pixelated shot of an underdeveloped highschool freshman in their underwear trying their best to make a seductive face) A place for stalking with consent

Lego-Prosthesis

Lego-Prostheses are Lego versions of prosthetic limbs, foreheads, appendages, hair, organs or other body parts. These are either for the very weird or very poor as they do not adequately replace the functionality of many body parts (with the exception being eyes of course). The most popular prosthetic is the Lego-Leg-o. Many Vietnam veterans have turned to these multi-colored brick legs as a means of support both figuratively and literally. Specifically, these legs will offer messages of support housed in the latticework of the bricks. Popular Messages include:

-“I Lost this leg in NAM. Want to fight?”

-“What are you looking at? Want to fight?”

-“I could still kick you ass with this Lego monstrosity. Want to fight?”

-“Gore Liberman 2000. Want to fight?”

-“L E G O”

-“Kentucky State Fair 2nd Place, 1983. Want to fight?”

-"I just lost a fight. want to fight?

Hands are also popular. Albert Pujols had his glove hand replaced with Legos in 2003 and since, he has become the best player in baseball. For more information on this topic, please review this site.

Nazi moon base

HALF A CENTURY OF THE GERMAN MOON BASE ( 1942 - 1992 )

From: [email protected] (Robert K. Rouse) Newsgroups: alt.paranet.ufo,alt.alien.visitors,alt.conspiracy Subject: Moon and Mars Bases Date: 24 Aug 93 16:20:45 GMT

According to some mentalist

The Germans landed on the Moon as early as probably 1942, utilizing their larger exoatmospheric rocket saucers of the Miethe and Schriever type. The Miethe rocket craft was built in diameters if 15 and 50 meters, and the Schriever Walter turbine powered craft was designed as an interplanetary exploration vehicle. It had a diameter of 60 meters, had 10 stories of crew compartments, and stood 45 meters high. Welcome to Alice in Saucerland. In my extensive research of dissident American theories about the physical conditions on the Moon I have proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that there is atmosphere, water and vegetation on the Moon, and that man does not need a space suit to walk on the Moon. A pair of jeans, a pullover and sneakers are just about enough. Everything NASA has told the world about the Mood is a lie and it was done to keep the exclusivity of the club from joinings by the third world countries. All these physical conditions make it a lot more easier to build a Moon base.

Ever since their first day of landing on the Moon, the Germans started boring -and tunneling under the surface, and by the end of the war there was a small Nazi research base on the Moon. The free energy tachyon drive craft of the Haunibu-1 and 2 type were used after 1944 to haul people," materiel and the first robots to the construction site on the Moon. When Russians and Americans secretly landed jointly on the Moon in the early fifties with their own saucers, they spent their first night there as guests of the .... Nazi underground base. In the sixties a massive Russian - American base had been built on the Moon, that now has a population of 40,000 people, as the rumor goes. After the end of the war in May 1945, the Germans continued their space effort from their south polar colony of Neu Schwabenland. I have discovered a photograph of their underground space control center there.

GERMAN-JAPANESE MILITARY R&D COOPERATION: According to Renato Vesco again, Germany was sharing a great deal of the advances in weaponry with their allies the Italians during the war. At the Fiat experimental facility at lake La Garda, a facility that fittingly bore the name of air martial Hermann Goering, the Italians were experimenting with numerous advanced weapons, rockets and airplanes, created in Germany. In a similar fashion, the Germans kept a close contact with the Japanese military establishment and were supplying it with many advanced weapons. I have discovered for example a photo of a copy of the manned version of the V-1 - the Reichenberg - produced in Japan by Mitsubishi. The best fighter in the world - the push-pull twin propeller Domier-335 was duplicated at the Kawashima works. Or a photo of Japanese high ranking Imperial navy officers inspecting the latest German radar station. A Japanese friend of mine in Los Angeles related to me the story of his friend's father, who worked as technician in an aircraft research bureau in Japan during the war. In July of 1945, two and a half months after the war ended in Germany, a huge German transport submarine brought to Japan the latest of German inventions - two spherical wingless flying devices. The Japanese R&D team put the machines together, following the German instructions, and... there was something very bizarre and other-earthy standing in front of them - a ball shaped flying device without wings or propellers, that nobody knew how it flied. The fuel was added, the start button of this unmanned machine was pressed* and it .... disappeared with a roar and flames without a in the sky. The team never saw it again. The engineers were so frightened by the unexpected might of the machine, that they promptly dynamited the second prototype and choose to forget the whole incident.

GERMAN-JAPANESE FLIGHT TO THE MOON AND MARS IN 1945-46: According to the authors of the underground German documentary movie from the Thule society, the only produced craft of the Haunibu-3 type - the 74 meter diameter naval warfare dreadnought - was chosen for the most courageous mission of this whole century - the trip to Mars. The craft was of saucer shape, had the bigger Andromeda tachyon drives, and was armed with four triple gun turrets of large naval caliber (three inverted upside down and attached to the underside of the craft, and the fourth on top of the crew compartments). A volunteer suicide crew of Germans and Japanese was chosen, because everybody knew that this journey was a one-way journey with no retum. The large intensity of the electro-magnetogravitic fields and the inferior quality of the metal alloys used then for the structural elements of the drive, was causing the metal to fatigue and get very brittle only after a few months of work of the drive. The flight to Mars departed from Germany one month before the war ended - in April 1945.

It was probably a large crew, numbering in the hundreds, because of the low level of automation and electronic controls inside the saucer. Most of the systems of the craft had to be operated like these on a U-boat of that time - manually. Because the structurally weakened tachyon drives were not working with full power and not all the time, the trip to Mars took almost 8 months to accomplish. An initial short trust towards Mars was probably used the strong gravitational field close to Earth, after that the craft was "coasting" for 8 months in an elliptical orbit to Mars with its main drives turned off. Later trips to Mars by the joint Soviet - American craft in 1952 and by the Vatican craft of the Marconi project from Argentina in 1956 reached Mars in only 2 - 3 days, because their drives were working during the whole flight: accelerating in the first half and decelerating in the second. Smaller Kohler converters were probably used to power the systems and life support equipment on board. I do not have any information at the present time about any artificial gravity capability on board the craft, but that could have been easily done with the large antigravity drives of the ship.

After a heavy, almost crashing landing, the saucer slammed to a stop, damaging irreparably its drives, but saving the crew. That happened in the middle of January 1946. The crash landing on Mars was not only due to the crippled tachyon drives of the craft - it was also due to the smaller gravitational fleld of Mars generating less power for the tachyon drives; and also due to the thinner atmosphere on Mars, that could not be used as effectively for air breaking as the Earth's atmosphere could. The craft was shaped as a giant saucer - a form that is very efficient as an air brake, when it is entered into the atmosphere with its luge cross section perpendicular to the trajectory of descent.

One question, that I have not answered yet in the affirmative is how were the Germans able to regenerate the air inside the craft for 8 months for this big crew. Quite probably they were using advanced life support systems, developed initially for their larger Walter turbine and free energy submarines, that were cruising the oceans without resurfacing.

The radio message with the mixed news was received by the German underground space control center in Neu Schwabenland and by their research base on the Moon.

(BJAODN note: Elements of the this article resemble claims by Ernst Zündel. According to rumor, Zündel doesn't even believe them himself, but merely used them to get radio time.)

from Keiko

The below elegy was appended to the article by an anonymous poster. I was touched in a way only Michael Jackson could hope to achieve. -The Tom 19:45, 13 August 2005 (UTC)

```            Swim forever free
```
```            In the Oceans of Heaven
```
```            Your best journey yet
```

My goodness! It's a haiku!

From Betrayal at Krondor

At first sight, this is a gross NPOV violation. Read it second time, and it's pretty funny. Especially now that it's no longer on the article so you can read it safely here. --W4

The game mostly uses a quirky Game engine. It represents both the overworld and dungeons in 3-D in a pre-Quake era so the result is sub-par. The overworld has many hills which are represented as polygonal projections which, combined with the low-res textures, are unimpressive. Movement is somewhat clunky, especially with turning. The game view is altered so thoroughly on each turn often the player can become totally disoriented. Most of the objects except for houses are represented by sprites, which have a pretty limited draw distance. This makes finding treasure chests pretty burdensome.

Most of the humanoid characters are not drawn but actual captured images of people (similar to the first Mortal Kombat). In combat idle, attack, and death animations are captured, but not character movement: characters' feet don't move; they just float across the board. The animation in combat that is captured is also pretty jerky. Environments are a mix of captured images and hand-drawn. Inventory items are all hand-drawn in excellent quality. Unfortunately due to the low resolutions of the times today things look pretty pixelated on the whole.

From Waste

Okay, well, this isn't really nonsense, nor was it deleted, but it's pretty hilarious that the following template was there:

From \x01a4

\x01a4 is the hexadecimal code for the number 420.

'\x' -> signifies that this term is hexadecimal.
'0' -> ${\displaystyle 0*(16^{3})=0}$
'1' -> ${\displaystyle 1*(16^{2})=256}$
'a' -> ${\displaystyle 10*(16^{1})=160}$
'4' -> ${\displaystyle 4*(16^{0})=4}$

0 + 256 + 160 + 4 = 420

From User_talk:Ycmak2004

The Republic of Lee Kingdom (Chinese 新加坡共和国, Xīnjīapō Gònghéguó; Malay Republik Singapura; Tamil சிங்கப்பூர் குடியரசு, Cingkappūr Kudiyarasu), is an island city-state in Southeast Asia, at latitude 1°17'35"N longitude 103°51'20"E, situated on the southern tip of Malay Peninsula, south of the state of Johor of Peninsular Malaysia and north of the Indonesian islands of Riau.

Republik Kingdom Lee
சிங்கப்பூர் குடியரசு
Republic of Lee Kingdom

 Flag Coat of Arms (In Detail)
National motto: Majulah Kingdom Lee
(Malay: Onward, Lee Kingdom)
LocationLee Kingdom.png
Official languagesEnglish, Chinese (Mandarin), Malay and Tamil
National languageMalay
CapitalLee Kingdom
PresidentS. R. Nathan
Prime MinisterLee Hsien Loong
Area
- Total
- % water
Ranked 174th
692.7 km²
1.444%
Population
- Total (July 2003 est.)
- Density
Ranked 115th
4,608,595
6751/km²

GDP
- Total (2002)

\$112.4 billion

\$25,200
Independence
- Date
From Malaysia
August 9, 1965
CurrencyLee Kingdom Dollar (LK\$, LKD)
Time zoneUTC +8
National anthemMajulah Kingdom Lee
Internet TLD.Lee
Calling code65 (Also 02 when dialling from Malaysia)

History

Main article: History of Lee Kingdom

The Lee Kingdom happened when Lee Kuan Yew came in and said "I AM THE ONE, WORSHIP ME", and, to quote the famous national song, "and they did". And so it happened. The rest, they say, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY.

Politics

Main article: Politics of Lee Kingdom

Lee Kingdom has an extreme stalinist democracy-style political system reminiscient of Russia during the Cold War and the Bolshevik Period. Perhaps this was what Harry Truman was referring to in his doctrine. It is essentially a state which "relies upon terror and oppression, a controlled press and radio; fixed elections, and the suppression of personal freedoms. "

In practice, politics is dominated by the People's Action Party which has ruled since Independence. Over the years the PAP has instituted several harsh laws that discourage and impede the creation and success of effective opposition parties. Furthermore, it has always claimed that the elections are "walkovers", and has never actually held an election since 1959. This is even worse than Stalin, who at least tried to hold fake elections to appease the allied powers.

The mode of government is perhaps closer to true stalinist democracy than authoritarianism. Paradoxically (for political scientists), Lee Kingdom has a highly successful, corruption-free, and transparent planned economy. Lee Kingdom is officially known by the Euphemism "the DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF Lee Kingdom". And, we all know that countries with democratic in their name are always far from being so.

Economy

Main article: Economy of Lee Kingdom

Lee Kingdom enjoys a highly developed and successful command economy, characterised by a remarkably protectionist but corruption-free environment, unreasonably high and unchanging prices, and one of the highest per capita GDPs in the world (thought it is often disputed that these figures have been fabricated by the government). The economy depends heavily on exports of the Communist Manifesto, Das Kapital, and other communism and stalism related books, in attempts to convert countries to their style of politcal rule.

The GDP per capital income in 2003 - US\$23,700 (est.) with an unemployment rate hovering around 5% in the same year.

The Economic Review Committee (ERC), set up in December 2001, made key recommendations to remake Lee Kingdom into:

• a globalised economy where Lee Kingdom is the key node in the global network, linked to all the major economies;
• a creative and entrepreneurial nation willing to think of new ways to risk their lives to smuggle books into anti-communist US
• an economy which seems to be nice to the US, while breeding communists to infiltrate them

Science

:Image:ChernobylPlant.jpg The nuclear power plant in Lee Kingdom after a dangerous weapons experiment

Centralised control of the economy allows Lee Kingdom to easily pursue ambitious research programs. In early 2000s Lee Kingdom invested several billion dollars into research into nuclear physics, atomic physics and weapons research. In addition, it is currently also looking into the area of bio-warfare and the use of micro-organisms to attack other countries. In order to achieve this aim, it has invited top notch Iranian, Korean and Libyan scientists to create the best weapons in the world. Apparently this scientific ambition will soon be moving into the economic realm.

Below are some of the renowned scientists that have been invited to conduct weapons research:

Dr. Kim Jong-il Prof. Osama bin Laden Chief Scientist Lee Hsien Loong

Geography

Aerial view of Lee Kingdom

Lee Kingdom's main territory is a diamond-shaped piece of island, if it was not connected to the city of Johor Bahru in the state of Johor (Malaysia) by a man-made causeway to the north. This causeway is set to be replaced through the construction of a new bridge to Johor Bahru. Lee Kingdom also has dozens of smaller islands, of which Jurong Island, Pulau Tekong, Pulau Ubin and Sentosa are the largest. Since Lee Kingdom basically consists of only large nuclear facility , there are no further administrative divisions.

Additional links to Malaysia include pipes for transmission of "water", including heavy water and other radioactive material including uranium, plutonium and enriched nuclear isotopes of various other experimental nuclear elements. There also seems to be nuclear missiles hidden underground, disguised as pipes, and sometimes, in the pipes.

Demographics

Just as New Zealand has more sheep than people, the Lee Kingdom has more nuclear missiles than people. In fact, nuclear missiles can be found under every single house and hidden in the sides of HDB flats. That accounts for their height. Recent renovation campaigns under the name of "lift-upgrading" or "en-bloc upgrading" actually involve the conversion of the four corners of the flats into nuclear silos for the launch of nuclear missiles from HDB flats. This makes the whole country a formidable and dangerous anti air defence.

Lee Kingdom's population is diverse. Iranians, Koreans, Libyans and people of various other nationalities form a large part of the population.

From "Annabelle Hodgetts"

Annabelle Hodgetts is an Australian icon. Known affectionately to her fans as "Britney Spears", her many awards include a 2003 Nobel Peace Prize for her incredible contribution to the gay and lesbian community, 17 Oscars (for her work in such movies as 'Armagedd-it-on'), 9 Grammies, and a Bollywood Rasberry for her work in 'Menopause the Musical'. Annabelle also is a model for advent calendars posing as baby jebus in his cradle and is addicted to myspace.

From Whole grain

Whole grain never made any sense to me. I mean, what health benefits could you get out of consuming the entire seed of something? Sounds to me like some hocus-pocus or something, not unlike when they said that milk helps burn fat, which is completely illogical considering the amount of fat milk has in it.

If you ask me, the health people are probably going crazy. If anything, this whole grain thing would most likely have to be a hoax of some crazy sort.

But ah, what is a brain compared to a fit body these days? People are considered great when they have an excessive amount of money, power, and/or have such an excellent body from eating hardly any calories, hardly any carbs, and exercising until they collapse on the ground from running completely out of calories and carbs. But how come the third way to be considered great is looked at that way? One word: obesity.

Oh, how I pine for the days when news was news, not a health column that had to say "obesity" in almost every other article. This epidemic abuse of a previously respected word made millions worry about their weight too much and some result in practically starving themselves. Another commonly abused word is "epidemic", which leaves me at the phrases "obesity epidemic", "epidemic of obesity", and pretty much every other way to paraphrase that that you can think of.

But how is this image supposed to be achieved with McDonald's stuffing Big Macs in your mouth every day as you drive home from work? This is where exercising, dairy, and whole grains come in, right? But who really has the time for that other than people like that guy in the Fitness Made Simple commercials?

And now back to the subject of whole grain and how they get it to be the miracle food. Of course, all us Americans sick and fed up of an overload of health news would absolutely love to know, wouldn't we?

Now only if we new. I guess we will all have to take deep breaths, wait for the health news to calm down, wait for "obesity" and "epidemic" to get removed from the dictionary (they're already both close to expletive status anyway), and hope to find out what it is that makes whole grain do everything it allegedly does.

From Spider-Man

Spider-Man eXXXposed was a backstory of sorts that focused on the character Peter Parker and his desperate need to make money. Directed by Jake Billion, the film takes place somewhere between Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2. During this time Peter Parker was running low on money, as he refused to take pictures of Spider-Man for the newspaper anymore. Suddenly he caves in and decides that half nude pictures of Spider-Man would surely pull in large amounts of money. The title comes from the following dialogue found in the movie:

• "Perfect Parker! I can see the headlines now! Spider-Man Exposed! With a triple X!" -J. Jonah Jameson

Of relating to sexual intrest in the genders of male, female, narf, and bork.

unidentified insect (from Wikipedia:Reference desk)

Does anyone recognize this insect? I found it lying on the garden steps in Baltimore, on August 12, 2005; it had been killed and nibbled, probably by my sister's cat. The wings visible here span about 12 cm/5 in.; the second pair of wings was badly damaged, either by the cat or by the ants that were carrying away what was left. —Charles P. (Mirv) 16:07, 14 August 2005 (UTC)

Looks like a common moth to me.

"recognize this insect" like, did we meet it while it was alive, or just the species? -- Jmabel | Talk 19:15, August 14, 2005 (UTC)
We need to inform its immediate family, don't we? ~~ N (t/c) 19:16, 14 August 2005 (UTC)
Yes. At least we don't have to worry about them finding out by seeing its poor, mangled body here on Wikipedia: as any spider will tell you, insects don't even notice the web. -- Jmabel | Talk 19:36, August 14, 2005 (UTC)

From Talk:Scrotum

What fills the area between the skin of the scrotum and the testes? Muscle? Lymph? Blood?

I dunno. But I got a pocketknife and duct tape if anyone has a little brother I can borrow. 68.97.208.123 13:30, 13 August 2005 (UTC)

Toiletries

A large cult in the Midwest of Pennsylvania. Their leader, the grand Douche, must Iniate new members with the rights. This includes the whacking of the testicles, and bottom. Every 7 years a new grand leader is made. Here is a list of the last 5 Grand Douches: -1989 Mikalaj Beliniak -1994 Peter V -1998 Evan Lang

In 1998 the expert strategist and composer Evan Lang amended the Toiletries Constitution, to allow him to stand as Grand Douche until death. There are many plots for the assasination of the Grand Douche, but not many have been followed through, because of the grand Douche's power, and his small army of Douchette's.

Common members of the Cult are known as Douchittes, and recieve Douche Mobile. Many members have suffered from Oneirogmophobia, a fear of Wet Dreams. The most prominent member to suffer from this illness was the Grand Douche of 1989, Mik. He toiled all night in his bedroom, never falling asleep for fear of a Wet Dream. He masturbated non-stop, in hope that they would go away.

From Image:Pubichair.JPG

Description: "Pubic domain"

From Xmly

xmly is an id in SMTH zixia and BMY bbs. The owner of this id is a funny guy from china. He likes posting meaningless paper on the BBS.

From Leet

[1] Someone's got waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands...

Most likely, they got a program to do it for them. (But still, they had to write the program, so you're still right.) zafiroblue05 | Talk 00:13, 17 June 2006 (UTC)

From Australia

Austraila is a crazy country where everyone is a crocodile-wrangling nut. Kangaroos run rampant and are often seen kick-boxing old ladies in the city. The only things with any use that come out of this country are The Screaming Jets and Steve Irwin.

[2]. Reverted in approximately 4mins

john "hannibal" smith

john "hannibal" smith is the guy from the a-team who was the old guy and smoked a cigar. one time he dressed like a gondzilla monster and he even smoke a freakin cigar that time too he is the lead guy and he tells the other guys like ba and the guy from battleship galactisomething what to do. theres an nother guy how is howling mad murdock. man is he crazy. the ateam is a good show cause lost of stuff blows up and my mom still lets me watch cause their is always a moral like dont sell drugs to kids or the ateam will get you. there was an other one were this guy made toys or had a toy factory or sold toys or something i don't remember but this guyhad stuff to do with toys and the ateme had to help i think. it was a long time ago.

the end

From Out of Order

Common English term dating back to 1590. Used to describe when one or more things are out of place. Also commonly used when vending machines or video games are possessed by Lucifer.

==re: ON TOPIC BELOW. (FYI)

hi/ i honestly think this "pitch" was written by Steven R. Jensen (now deceased), the former and original lead singer of the vandals. I think this because i'm his ex girlfriend, and before we broke up (badly) a few years before he succumbed to an accidental overdose, we'd have conversations that were mirror to this post. In fact, when he lived in maui and i lived in Long Beach, i visted him a while, but we filled in the visit gaps via an optimal cell phone deal. Honestly, he'd call me and i'd call him back in hawaii... and we'd use my free evening minutes for similar strange and pointlessly fun BIZ brainstorms, but with added elements of impromptu vocal soundtracks. We'd also watch movies simultaneously and re vamp the dialog over the phone.... we liked "sling blade" and "the green mile." T-mobile used to be pretty cool..... When i read this post just now, i was walloped by a "god i miss stevo." anyways, I was on this place, looking for for a piece of "cheery..." and found it. Thanks. i'm posting without my normal wiki sign in because my former landlord is a nut. whatever. sarah daugherty (SarahMdaugherty) save it. i'm pretty sure it's stevos. :)_______________________________________________________________

Attack of the fifty foot Hitler

Attack of the 50 foot Hitler is obscure 50’s B-movie. It is the sequel to the equally obscure, attack of the fifty foot Stalin, a cold war propaganda film financed by the "Shoot the comme bastards society and the KKK. The film is about: "those commie bastards building a fifty foot high robot of Stalin, In order to kill people and stuff". The film was extremely inaccurate as everyone knows the giant Stalin robot of death was in fact 90 feet high, and had nuclear missiles instead of fingers.

The plot of Attack of the fifty foot Hitler is extremely similar to " Invasion of the Radioactive, Nazi Martian, psycho, zombie, axe murderers.... from hell" The film begins in a forgotten Nazi moon base where an aged Nazi scientist has created a fifty foot high clone of Hitler using DNA from his famous severed testicle. The clone Hitler is initially benevolent but turns to evil after seeing an episode of "Happy Larry’s SS death squad" and the film “El bastard comes to town". The Giant Clone Hitler then murders the Nazi scientist to: "prove how hard I am" and then flies to Earth on a V2 missile to "enslave humanity and turn every one into communists". This is possibly the film's most laughable mistake as everyone knows Hitler was a fascist. The film makers tried to cover up this glaring error through a voiceover at the start of the film which announced “anyone who thinks Hitler was a fascist is an ignorant comme bastard and a spy. Report them to the FBI immediately". Once the clone Hitler lands on earth he assembles an army of Nazi war criminals and joins forces with the soviet union to "destroy capitalism and shit" His army marches on Washington. Hitler uses his laser vision and "fiendish moustache of communism and death" to destroy all opposition. He also uses his "evil communist mind powers" to turn people against the "beloved" KKK. Meanwhile the KKK builds a gigantic robot clansman with nuclear missiles for fingers which destroys the 50 foot Hitler. His entire army is executed in the electric chair and everyone gets free doughnuts.

The film was panned by critics at the time for being "too long and wordy". Many critics thought the film needed "more tits and violence” and “a hell of a lot more zombies". The films director Henry “that’s a big one” Burk dale never worked again, largely because he gassed himself in an oven after realizing that he would never fulfill his ambition of becoming Queen of England. The films star Martin Bormann later went on to Develop “a type of nerve gas that gives” communists the shits. He sold it to the US military but was later imprisoned after the “nerve gas” was found to be Vaporized cats piss and turpentine. All copies of the film where burnt because of copyright issues. The main issue being the entire plot had been stolen from “attack of the really big communist guy”.

El BASTARD COMES TO TOWN

El Bastard comes to town is an extremely disturbing and graphically violent cult film, made infamous by an incredibly twisted torture involving a lathe 600 liters of Vaseline and a carrot called Fred.

The film is set in 1920’s Brazil and concerns a deranged circus midget called “el Bastard” who loses his job in a freak show when he is replaced by a tap-dancing bearded lady with a degree in nuclear physics. This event angers el bastard who decides to go to town and embark on an orgy of killing and extreme violence. On the way he meets a kindly old man who rescues him from a pack of rabid hamsters. Filled with gratitude el bastard machine guns him and dumps his corpse in a ditch. El bastard continues on his journey, on the way he commits more gruesome atrocities including decapitating anyone with letters in their name. He carries round the severed heads 234 of them in all threaded onto a piece of rope which he wears as a necklace. Night falls before El bastard can reach town. In order to avoid the hordes of rabid werewolves and chartered accountants which stalk the countryside at night, el Bastard breaks into a convent and proceeds to massacre 400 nuns with an axe, whilst laughing insanely and burning bibles.

The next morning after crucifying all 400 corpses outside the convent El Bastard continues on his way. He arrives at town in the middle of a carnival and causes havoc by tossing grenades into the densely backed crowds and torching police men with a flame thrower. El bastard grows bored of this and decides to rest for the night. However on his way to the hotel he meets “Fred the carrot” owner of the freak show who replaced El bastard with a bearded lady. El bastard abducts him by sticking a gigantic knitting needle through his legs and dragging him away.

What follows is the infamous torture scene. It lasts for 6 hours and includes:

•El bastards cutting off all of Fred the carrot’s limbs coating them in Vaseline setting fire to them and then forcing Fred the carrot to eat them while there still burning.

• El bastard forcing Fred the carrot to watch the entire first series of Emmerdale.

• Grinding away the top of Fred the carrot’s skull with a lathe and dissolving his brain with sulphuric acid. After the torture scene El bastard “finds god” and goes to live as a hermit in the Convent where he massacred the nuns.

Trivia.

• El Bastards hero is Oscar Wilde. El bastard often quotes him especially during the massacre scene.

• The Massacre scene took 2 years to film because it was so complex.

• A scene in which el bastard assassinates Jesus was edited out for “timing reasons”. In the original script El bastard finds god after killing Jesus. In the actually film el bastard finds god lying dead under a bookcase.

• The film was banned soon after it was made (1927) because El bastard doesn’t wear trousers.

• The circus midget who played el bastard also penned the script, which was largely autobiographical

VfD of Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/WikiProject Wikipedians for Decency

The VfD itself was nominated for deletion. The result was speedy keep. JIP | Talk 13:12, 18 August 2005 (UTC)

Actually it was closer to oh God no please don't do that when does the hurting stop, but yes, this attempt at recursion was nipped in the bud. JRM · Talk 13:25, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
It would appear from theis VFD that the consensus is that things in the wikipedia name space can be listed on VFD. Therefore technicaly VFDs can be VFDed.Geni 14:26, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
And those Vfds will themselves be nominated for deletion, Now your recursive logic is attempting to suck my brain dry, arghhhh! --Darkfred Talk to me 14:29, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
The initial VfD process itself can do exactly the same as 'VfDing a VfD', with speedy keeps (as indeed was the case with the VfD of the VfD being as good as VfDed). To allow such recursion would just lead to never-ending arguments dragging on for months and years as they continued to be nominated for fresh VfDs, long after the issue would have been resolved otherwise. KeithD (talk) 14:31, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
It would appear from theis VFD that the consensus is that things in the wikipedia name space can be listed on VFD. Therefore technicaly VFDs can be VFDed. No. It establishes that some things in the Wikipedia namespace can be VfD'ed. VfDs cannot be VfD'ed, even though they happen to be in the Wikipedia namespace. Why this must be so is left as an exercise to the reader, but while said reader is figuring it out, I'll make sure they're killed immediately regardless. JRM · Talk 19:41, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
so can deleted vdfs be listed on VFU? This leads to a whole new opportunity for recursion.Geni 23:17, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
Yes, but VFU is not trying the vote on the VFD, but rather only for questioning the legitimacy of the decision to delete based on the vote. The merits of the article are not considered, only the merit of the way the VFD was conducted. Tomer TALK 23:21, August 18, 2005 (UTC)
Tomer's reasonable interpretation notwithstanding, I would answer no to that as well. I seriously hope nobody is going to demand I write up a guideline for this. You do not VfD VfD's, period, because it's either pointless or WP:POINTful. They shouldn't be created; likewise no discussion of undeletion should be taking place when they are speedied. None of this is explicitly forbidden, of course, just like it's not forbidden to put the Main Page up for deletion or redirect your talk page to a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head. That doesn't mean such actions must be tolerated.
Incidentally, a VfU on a VfD nomination itself would not be recursive if it failed. And I do hope Wikipedia has enough sanity left to ensure such VfUs would fail, but if not, I guess I'll just have to become one of those rouge admins I hear so much about! JRM · Talk 23:58, 18 August 2005 (UTC)
This is probably not the best place to be discussing this. That notwithstanding, I was speaking in more general terms of files of any sort that have been deleted. I neglected to point out, however, that VFDs don't get deleted unless they're frivolous, which is, AFAIK, never a result of a VFD request on a VFD itself. Every VFD (except for those lost possibly several months ago in "the crash") is still out there. Regardless of how this one ends, the record of it will still be out there. Even if the project itself is deleted, the VFD will still hang around for posterity. Tomer TALK 00:33, August 19, 2005 (UTC)
I've generally given up on trying to get discussions to their proper place, unless they are really of some importance. That notwithstanding... No, let me try that again... :-) For clarity: I am only speaking of the only issue pertinent to the discussion: deleting VfD nominations of VfD nominations. I'm not talking about your regular, run-of-the-mill, everybody-understands-what's-going-on VfD nomination. You are right: in general a VfD nomination isn't deleted, ever, even if it's patently absurd, like Wikipedia:Votes for deletion/Jesus. The VfD of the VfD was deleted with extreme prejudice not because it was frivolous but because it was just plain wrong as an application of procedure. A gateway to infinite recursion. An abhorrence. A freak of nature. VfDing VfDs is just something that ought to be impossible. I took Geni's remark as referring only to VfUs of VfDs on VfDs (oh dear), not VfU in general, which works as you outlined. JRM · Talk 01:01, 19 August 2005 (UTC)
hmmm yes this line does appear to end rather than become an infinite recursion one you have listed on VFU the vfd on vfd that got speedied I can think of any way to deal with you loseing there (assuming no one lists the VFU on VFD which since VFU doesn't use sub pages could be tricky).Geni 01:09, 19 August 2005 (UTC)
HELP! SOMEBODY! PLEASE! I think my brain is stuck in the spin cycle!!! Tomer TALK 01:14, August 19, 2005 (UTC)
Excellent idea, Geni. If we reform VfU to use subpages, we could VfD VfUs. If we tentatively accept that VfDs can be VfDed, we could hence VfD VfUs of VfDs of VfUs of VfDs... Mutual recursion at its finest. I note at this point that the infinite recursion I hinted at isn't really possible, though—only if you insist on adding new levels. The process isn't self-perpetuating and you can stop at any time. Probably when you go absolutely bonkers, decide Wikipedia is a silly place, and go back to reading paper encyclopedias like the rest of the world. JRM · Talk 01:23, 19 August 2005 (UTC)
Subpages of VFU are clearly unnecessary. When a VFU for a VFD on a VFD fails, obviously the natural thing is propose a VFD on the VFU process. If that fails, you then VFD the VFD on VFU, and start again. Dragons flight 01:30, August 19, 2005 (UTC)
On the contrary, subpages of VfU are clearly necessary. If there is just the one monolithic VfU page, and it is VfD'd, where would we be able to place the VfU of the VfD'd VfU? Eugene van der Pijll 07:40, 19 August 2005 (UTC)
I don't know. Perhaps we should hold a vote on it? WP:VfDoVfUoVfDoVfU... Shimgray
If the VfU of the VfD was about something entirely different, and wasn't about WfD, but was about VD, or worse still, an image of VD viewed on a VDU, would that be an FU to the WfD, or only those WfD members who come from UF and play the Ud? KeithD (talk) 16:17, 19 August 2005 (UTC)

From White House, Egg roll

 Vandalism This article is way too perfect. It's a perfect example of Wikipedia at it's best and thus it's in the need of serious trashing. You can help with this effort by Vandalising the fuck out of it

Bottle forker

The only reference online as of this date (August 19, 2005) for "bottle forker" is in a brief biography of Leon Czolgosz, the assisin of President McKinley.

I have no clue what a bottle forker might be.

From Audiology

Audiology is the study of hearing. Not to be confused with 'Audio-Loggy' - giant poos with speakers in them. [3]

From Polarium

"Hi mom." (appended to the beginning of the page)

"Bye mom." (edit summary for next edit)

From Charlie ferguson

• . . . . o o o o o
• _____ o _______
• ____==== ]OO|_n_n__][. |lamer|
• [________]_|__|________)< |ville|
• oo oo 'oo OOOO-| oo\\_
• +--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+-\$1-+--+--+--+--+

charlie in train form - notice he is going to lamer ville.

From The Cremation of Care

(this is classic: the page actually underwent an update while under consideration for deletion. The first version:)"

The Cremation of Care is a Druid ceremony practiced at the Bohemian Grove with former US Presidents of the Republican party usually presiding as the main Druid masters. The ceremony involves the corpse of a dead child, wrapped in a cloak being floated down a makeshift river. A giant animatronic owl statue which is voiced by Bohemian Club member Walter Cronkite and speaks that the child shall be burned and all care and responsibility shall be destroyed. Six prisoners plead that the child not be burned but are sentenced to death by the Druids. The prisoners are then killed and the child's corpse is then burned until only the skeleton remains. The ceremony is supposed to represent the destruction of care and responsibility and worldy concern in the members of the club so that they are asbolved from all their actions and they lose any responsibility to the world and become caring of just themselves. The ceremony was videotaped by Alex Jones when he broke into the club in 2002. The ceremony has been performed at the Grove for 100 years but is reported to be an ancient Druid rite more than 3000 years old. In his documentary Alex Jones videotaped men orgasming at the site of the burning child and screaming "yesssssss, yesssss."

(and the later version)

The Cremation of Care is a semi-secret ceremony performed by the Bohemian Club at the Bohemian Grove during its annual meet. Participants claim the ceremony is an ancient Druid rite although their is no evidence to support this. The ceremony takes place beside a small waterway and next to a 40-foot cement Owl statue (the Owl being the symbol of the Bohemian Club) named Moloch. During the ceremony audio is played out of amplifiers near the Owl giving the illusion that the Owl is speaking. Moloch the Owl acts as a master of ceremonies. In past years former-newsman Walter Cronkite, a member of the Bohemian Club, voiced Moloch during the ceremony although whether or not this still holds true is unverifiable. Very little is known about the process other than that it is highly scripted and symbolic. It is known that parts of the script may contain allusions to purported prisoners of the Druids representing enemy tribes such as the Gauls and Celts. The other portion of the ceremony that is known about involves the drifting of a small boat down the waterway containing a coffin. In this coffin is a child-sized skeleton effigy which is then burned to end the ceremony. The symbolism of the event is widely known: the ceremony is meant to be representative of the destruction or burning of worldly concern and care. Journalist Alex Jones snuck into the Bohemian Grove in 2000 and filmed the final portion of the ceremony which is on his DVD Dark Secrets Inside Bohemian Grove. According to Alex Jones the man next to him during the ceremony moaned as if in orgasm. Although moans are heard on the tape it is not verifiable if the man actually orgasmed. Although traditionally all U.S. Presidents of the Republican party attend Bohemian Grove and thus most likely attend the ceremony (which is one of the 3 large ceremonies put on during the meet) no President is known to have actually participated in the ceremony.

"I'm a nut."

Jesuspunk

"For people who want to be religous and mad at the system and god. Basically they're morons."

From Coug it

(The entire article was replaced with:)

Whoopin Huskies asses!