# Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense is watching you.

A reference to George Orwell's classic novel, Nineteen Eighty-Four. I hate that book. =(

I love it, especially the bit with the cute dancing bunnies. toresbe 11:04, 12 January 2007 (UTC)

## Wikipolice (from Wikipedia:Articles for creation)

The Wikipolice is a dynamic enforcement squadron dedicated to protecting the flow of free information from modern internet terrorism. The size and funding of the organization is classified. So far the total number of internet terrorists apprehended by this task force is zero.

### Sources

67.171.87.53 03:11, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

## The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song (look at where the links go)

Now this is the story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and all
Shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said "you’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought "nah forget it, yo Holmes, to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby "yo Holmes, smell you later"
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air

## From Wikibooks:European History

### Wilson's Fourteen Points

Wilson's Fourteen Points were democratic, liberal, enlightened, and progressive - a new type of treaty designed to make peace forever secure. The key aspects of his propositions were to disallow secret treaties in the future, allow freedom of the seas, provide for arms reduction, allow the self-determination of nations, and to establish the League of Nations, which Wilson saw as a key instrument to prevent future war.

### The Treaty's Treatment of Germany

In contrast to Wilson's idealism, the Treaty of Versailles was harsh, brutal, punitive, and retributive, especially because France still had lingering anger over the Franco-Prussian war.

## From Cthulhu

Cthulhu (other spellings: Kutulu, Cthulu, Kthulhut, Thu Thu, Tulu[1], and many others) is a fictional entity created by horror author H.P. Lovecraft.[2] Cthulhu is often preceded by the epithet Great, Dead, or Bread.

## From Education

Education fries the brain of children. It is believed that teachers have to yell alot to get the child's attention.

## from French toast

Feeding French Toast to dogs is known to cause adverse side effects such as turning them into a cat.

Total GILF.

## From Lollipop

However, in truth, lolipops do not exist. They are a scam created by the government to throw the nations of the world off balance and pave the way to world domination! So join in the antilolipop movement! All you need to join is this radical t-shirt that I am currently in the process of creating. So remember, screw lolipops, eat chicken-on-a-stick isntead.

## From future technology

"Link is... the Hero of Rap in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind DJ... his heroic example has saved countless lives from evil."

## From Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong

{{Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong}}

## From Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong

The Dog Fart Neutralizing Thong is a thong which reduces the impact of a dog's farts on the unsuspecting public.

## Peanuts (from the Miscellaneous Reference Desk)

Hi im the peanut farmer who asked bout storing my peanuts in the forsest. Sum one rubbed out my questin. i have lots of theft from my storeroom so i thot to store my crop in the forast. is that legal? Template:Unsigned

It would depend upon the laws wherever it is that you farm peanuts and on who owns the forast. -THB 02:19, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I wouldn't think your peanuts would be safe in the forest - thieves and wild animals would find them there. --Shuttlebug 02:21, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Im not sure on the legality of storing them. AS THB says, it could depend on who owns the forest. My concern would be more one of protecting your nuts from attack by wild animals. Squirrels apparently would have a taste for your nuts. --Light current 02:26, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Light current, peanuts aren't nuts, they're legumes. I assumed they would be stored in proper containers to protect them from bugs and animals. Surely thieves would have more trouble finding them in the forast than in a storeroom known to contain peanuts. I'm not clear on why someone would steal peanuts. They're quite cheap. It would be more lucrative to steal copper or something. -02:28, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Apparently stealing almonds can be lucrative. User:Zoe|(talk) 03:00, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Yeah, farmers are getting ripped off left and right in California and across the country--fuel, machinery, crops. Almonds are significantly more expensive than peanuts. -THB 03:04, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

### Paying employees (in) peanuts

One suggestion is that you pay your employees (if that's who you suspect of theft), at least partially, in peanuts. For example, you could give them 5 kg of peanuts each a week, and decrease their pay by the cost of those peanuts to you (wholesale cost, not retail). The object here is twofold:

1) To satiate their desire for peanuts, so that they won't feel the need to steal them.

2) To increase their perceived pay, as they think of the value of peanuts as the retail price, which is much greater than the price you pay for them.

You could also increase security, by hiring guards, etc., but that can be quite expensive, and the guards might steal peanuts, too.

As for the legal issues, I would think those peanuts would be legally considered to be "abandoned", and therefore anyone who found them could take them. Also, the police might wonder what you are up to, and suspect you of smuggling drugs. StuRat 06:59, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

What does that say about your employees if you pay them peanuts? 8-)--Light current 07:04, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I'm sure they will never forget this gesture (especially compared with the other gestures you might have made when finding out they were stealing from you). StuRat 07:11, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
StuRat, I don't think you should be giving legal advice about abandoned property, as that would vary by location, and we don't even know where the OP is, except that he is on a farm and there is a forsest nearby. I think the OP should contact a lawyer specializing in property issues. The lawyer could help with the trespass issues as well. -THB 07:18, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Can you think of any jurisdiction where leaving sacks of peanuts in the forest wouldn't constitute abandonment ? StuRat 09:06, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I just couldn't comment as I am not a lawyer. -THB 16:50, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
The above idea about paying employees in peanuts is how a few companies operate. It may work for the OP. Jack Daniels gives its employees a free fifth every quarter or some such thing. From what I hear, Hershey's Chocolate lets the employees take chocolate. And I've known several people who have worked for Ben & Jerry's who got free pints of ice cream. Something like 2 pints a day. Dismas|(talk) 08:27, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I don't think I would recommend giving away liquor at work, that could have undesired consequences. StuRat 10:03, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Wal-mart apparently pays their workers peanuts. They're going to give them a shirt every five years now that they've capped wages. -THB 15:39, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
There are legends that trolls are fond of peanuts. There should be a Ref Desk for trolls where questions like this could be asked. Edison 15:52, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
I did not know that peanuts were native to Scandinavia. Perhaps the original question-poster could clarify the location of the peanut farm near the forast. -THB 16:48, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

It in calhoun county

### Risk versus reward

If storing peanuts in the forest makes sense to you, then do it. However, you should be psychologically prepared to have them confisicated, by police, squirrels, or anyone else that wanders upon your cache. Theavatar3 17:26, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

If he buries them underground in the forsest, they will be safer. -THB 17:47, 5 December 2006 (UTC)
Where are the Serious Q&A Only Police when you need them?Edison 20:24, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

## Snake in the crane's shadow

Snake in the crane
:Image:SOAP poster.jpg
Directed by Farkis Johanson
Produced by Hideyoshi Toshiie
Stokely Chaffin
Bartholumyou qwake
Penny Finkelman Cox
Lone Granger
Just is Greene
Jeff Dogz
Gary's dirty jeans
Sandra Rabbins
George Waud
David J. Taylor!
Written by Sheldon Turner (script)
Sebastian Gutierrez (script)
Jonathan Heffernan (script/story)
David Dalessandro (story)
Starring Samuel L. Jackson
Edward Norton Anti-virus
Julianna Margulies
Rachel Ray
Keenan and Kel
Bobby
Todd Louisoin
Music by Autumn bear
Editing by Howard Stern
Distributed by New Line Cinema
Release date(s) August 18, 2006 (U.S.)
August 18, 2006 (UK)
August 24, 2006 (Aus)
Running time 105 minutes (UK)
Language English
Budget \$33,000,000
All Movie Guide profile
IMDb profile

Why? WHY?

The film is rated O by the MPAA for OMG, 15 by the BBFC and 14A by the CHVRS, due to its content of suck History It all started when a commitee were formed to determine the worst thing that could happen. they said "THIS MOIVE". so they made it, just to prove they were right.

However, Dalessandro's third draft of Venomwas made into this movie instead. they died of 777 simultaneous strokes, a world record.

Originally, the film was going to be not ever. But then,suddenly, it was. Experts attribute this phenomenon to rising temperatures and a real big ol lack a sleep.

The film's title and premise generated a lot of pre-release interest on the Internet. One journalist even wrote that Snakes in the Crane's shadow is "perhaps the most internet!" Taking advantage of me. why. why.

On June 3, 2006 while presenting the award for best movie at the 2006 MTV Movie Awards, Jackson declared that "this movie better not win. i swear to god i will mess you up."

During a July 21, 2006 panel discussion at the house of lords, they said "goddamit not a gain!" "I told you himself! I HEARD IT EITHER!"

In a move meant to exploit . Synopsis Template:Spoiler Meanwhile, Flynn descends into the bottom of the crane in order to restore the air conditioning/ventilation system, without which the crane would overheat and plummet into the ocean.

Flynn and Troy take the controls of the crane. Troy reveals that his flight experience was actually from a crane simulator for the craneStation 2. With nobody else on the crane having as much flight experience of any sort as Troy, Flynn talks the control tower into letting him land the crane. After a crampy landing and a near collision with one of the buildings at the airport, Flight 121 is safely back on the ground. The surviving passengers finally set foot on land, and antivenom is given to those who need it. However, just as Flynn and Sean are about to get off the plane,the best snake drops from overhead and bites Sean in the chesticle... Flynn draws his gun and lasers the snake, causing Sean to tumble down the slide like a julip in spring.. Paramedics rip open Sean's lerg to reveal a final, even more deadly snake. This one was much more harder than any of the other snakes in the movie. this one wanted both pieces of the jade to complete the set. HE SENDS OUT HIS EAGLE. then they die cuz he killed my father with two bullets embedded in it. As the passengers and crew depart, Flynn offers to repay Claire by taking her out for dinner and a light snake,, and Tiffany writes her phone number on Sean. This is where the movie gets it's title. from her number. it recalls to the earlier scene in the film where it was revealed that both Flynn and Paramedics were the SAME PERSON and both were going to steal the money after the ransom was aught. But. Just then.

Sean reminds Flynn of the first thing he ever told Sean - "Do as I say and you live". NOW> Product placement That isnt. By the way, i have a terrible case of rampant badgers, in the yard. Template:Endspoiler

Media coverage Print Time magazine said "WOAH. UH. DID I JUST SEE THAT? wow. i...i don't know what i'm gonna tell my wife and kids....er....i gotta to shoot myself." AND THEN HE DID. AND A GOAT.

Music and audio On March 16, 2006, The boars had convened, they had begun teh creation of the tune. the tune of teh damned. In retrospect, teh boars do not know a lick about musical. things. anyway, they asked some guys to make some songs and soome tunes or two. and they listened and cried throughout. then, .

Television and video nope. just dvd. only once. dont even dare.

Merchandising There isnt pants, but you can get a fanny pack. Go on.

Internet the whole internet rebeled aganst it. they were furr ii ous. nt snake attacks in the area. The quest title is called "Snakes on the Plains."

Critical reaction "WHAT THE FUCK" ~ The Grand ol' movie the-atre.

Box office A couple tickets.

DVD release It happened, back OFF.

• Two theatrical trailers
• Five TV spots
• An easter egg
• instaaction
• the movie?
• oh.

Trivia

• did you know?
• some people died for this. i hope you are proud.
• >: (
• ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, YOU WATCH.
• 18 people have seen it worldwide. the creators were stunned at this overwhelmingly positive recepetoin

snake 1 as snake 1 snake 2 as snake 3 snake 3 as snake 4 snake 1 two as snake 2

Ratings A 3.....out of 5

References MY OWN EXPERIENCES WITH FENDING OFF DEATH AT THE DOORSTEPS

## From my user page --Triple-Quadruple 03:49, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Also, Princess Kitana is attractive and I want to date her after screwing her!

## From Clickster Grip (deleted)

I don't know whether this was a joke or not (though I think it was meant as one), so hopefully I don't offend the original creator. Nonsense either way. thadius856talk|airports|neutrality 05:05, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

ha, I put the delete notice on this. I thought it funny in a sad sort of way. --tennisman sign here! 22:03, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

## From Reverse

Someone took the concept of 'reverse' a little too seriously: [2].

## Big cliffhanger (from the article about Wikipedia)

Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "Wikipedia is the only site on the internet that says "

The original version was much, much longer than this. It just wouldn't fit.

## From Wikipedia:Miscellany for deletion/Wikipedia:Civility

The result of the debate was Speedy Keep per User:Friday. — xaosflux Talk 17:22, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

The result was ridiculous. Friday (talk) 08:23, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

## From (Houston) METRORail

The most probable cause of the high incidence of crashes is that Houston drivers are far less intelligent than drivers in the northern and western US, where nearly all major mass transit systems exist.

## From Blue-spotted Salamander

Like all amphibians, they are born in ponds,lakes etc. at first. Then when they form lungs they live in forests. Also eat insect of various types and might pick on a human from time to time.

## Drunk

The state of the majority of one-time Wikipedia vandals, too many of whose articles end up on this page.